People nowadays are so easy to judge. Whats worst is that those who judge does not even belong to my circle.
No matter how hard I shake of those thoughts, it keeps bothering me. How do you know if you are a good parent, and how do you measure good parenting? What's the criteria? Why is it so easy for you to judge over issues you know nothing of.
The moment I open my eyes in the morning, my task as a mom begins. I wake my daughter up, piggy back her to the first floor, give her a bath, ready her for school, then send her to school bus before I leave for work. I make sure to check on her every now and then, has she eaten already, did she sleep in the afternoon, is she out playing, is her yaya taking care of her, and the list goes on. After office, I need make sure to ask her how her day was, spend a little time with her, read her a story, put her to bed, and its a continuous cycle.
I do all the thinking, from what to eat in the morning till night, her baon, all the things she needs in school. My daughter has a lot of school activities that requires so much attention, time and creativity and for a working mom like me, working 6 days a week, I really need to make extra effort on this. On top of all these, I have to keep track of all the bills, grocery list, things we need here and there etc.
The things I mentioned above, those are just simple tasks of a mother. Without her father around, I have to make sure that my daughter does not feel broken, that she is not experiencing mental and emotional trauma. I have to constantly answer and explain to her why her father does not live with us anymore, and I have to deal with it in such a way that his image as father remains clean. It is my responsibility to make it look as if everything is in order but I also need to teach her to open her eyes to accept failures and chaos.
So imagine juggling all these things all by myself, ONLY by myself. Parenthood itself is hard even when you have your wife or your husband around to help. Single parenthood is TWICE as hard. I have to take up the role of the father who provides, and a mother who takes care of the rest.
My daughter is the living proof of how I am as mother. She is the ONLY person in this world who has the right to tell me whether or not I am doing the right thing, her opinion is the only thing that matters to me. My daughter is adorable, sweet, loving and anything that a mother could ask for. She has a roof over her head, quality education, food to fill her stomach, a room full of toys, and I make sure she has happy memories she can look back to someday. I am a single parent trying to so hard, juggling work, parenthood and everything in between. I am raising a child to be a decent human being. Being a single parent, its physically tiring, emotionally draining ad so much more.
If someday my daughter tells me that I was not a good mom to her and that I did not raise her well, then that's the day I'll admit to myself that I am not. But until I am seeing how happy she is whenever I'm with her, until she is still telling me how much she loves me, I'd like to think otherwise.
Stop expecting perfection from me, cause there's no perfect way to become a parent. Judge me when you found the correct ingredients to be a perfect one. Until then, God bless you!
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