Year 2015 has been a rollercoaster ride for me. If you have been reading my blog, you know how my being a mom started, from announcing I was pregnant to the very first time I fed my daughter with solid food. This year, Mikhaila's dad and I decided to part ways, and as a mom, I took automatic custody over my daughter.
Of course not all relationship are bound to last forever. If a relationship fails, its not solely because of you or your partner, but its because of the both of you, and there's no one else to blame but yourselves. Parting ways is hard enough for two different individuals, what more if it involves such an innocent lovely child.
I myself came from a broken family, and I never dreamt of giving my child the same. But I guess some things are not just meant to be, and no matter how hard you worked for it, if its not yours to keep then better let it go.
Being a single mom includes so many challenges:
1. Am I financially ready to support my daughter?
At first, it was very hard with no savings and no investments whatsoever. Luckily for me, my sister was kindhearted enough to make me and Mikhaila stay with her. I needed to adjust my expenses. I became more aware and concern about my priorities. Whenever I go to the grocery stores, I am now more attentive of the prices of each products I purchase. And now, I am renting a place of my own, slowly picking up the pieces, and investing things for our little house.
The first few months, sometimes years, may be difficult financially especially if you are the only one supporting your child but don't fast track everything, cause eventually everything will fall into the right place. Its just a matter of adjusting, prioritizing and managing wisely all your financials.
The first few months, sometimes years, may be difficult financially especially if you are the only one supporting your child but don't fast track everything, cause eventually everything will fall into the right place. Its just a matter of adjusting, prioritizing and managing wisely all your financials.
2. Am I emotionally prepared to handle all kinds of situations as a single mom?
There were so many heartaches along the way which resulted in me shedding tears from time to time. But, every problems always have solutions. You can cry your heart out but remember that there is this one person dependent on you.
I learned to confide in my family and friends. Of course, you can always ask them to listen to whatever complaints you have, but remember that at the end of the day, the decision is always yours to make, so don't decide base on other people's opinions, stand by what you think is right for you and your child, don't make decisions with anger in your heart, and don't be impulsive.
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I also had the chance to get to know a lot of single moms, and I was really surprise that there were so many of them out there, and it helped me emotionally because it simply means that I am not alone in facing this kind of situation. Make friends and ask them some questions on how they were able to survive. It is nice to have someone relate to what you're going through, there is no better listener and adviser than those who went through the path that you are taking now. You will realize how strong a person they have become after the rough times and will salute them for their "supermom powers".
3. What will other people think of me?
Ofcourse not everyone will understand the kind of situation you are in, some will be close minded
and will see you as a failure for not having handled a relationship well, some will judge you as if they know your whole being, but there will be those that will support you , guide you and understand you. As a single mom, I experienced a lot of sympathy, a lot of back talker, saw who my real friends are and saw who were faking it the whole time. There will be times when you break your heart to know that those you truly cared and supported in the past will be the ones to dump you in the hardest time of your life.
But I learned to walk head high. I showed everyone I can do it. And that the only opinion that matters to me is that of my daughter's. I started to act the way I think my daughter would be proud of me someday. I truly believe that your child's character and attitude is a reflection of yours, and I always keep that in mind to help me maintain the superhero image I embodied in my daughter's eyes.
I learned to confide in my family and friends. Of course, you can always ask them to listen to whatever complaints you have, but remember that at the end of the day, the decision is always yours to make, so don't decide base on other people's opinions, stand by what you think is right for you and your child, don't make decisions with anger in your heart, and don't be impulsive.
.
I also had the chance to get to know a lot of single moms, and I was really surprise that there were so many of them out there, and it helped me emotionally because it simply means that I am not alone in facing this kind of situation. Make friends and ask them some questions on how they were able to survive. It is nice to have someone relate to what you're going through, there is no better listener and adviser than those who went through the path that you are taking now. You will realize how strong a person they have become after the rough times and will salute them for their "supermom powers".
3. What will other people think of me?
Ofcourse not everyone will understand the kind of situation you are in, some will be close minded
and will see you as a failure for not having handled a relationship well, some will judge you as if they know your whole being, but there will be those that will support you , guide you and understand you. As a single mom, I experienced a lot of sympathy, a lot of back talker, saw who my real friends are and saw who were faking it the whole time. There will be times when you break your heart to know that those you truly cared and supported in the past will be the ones to dump you in the hardest time of your life.
But I learned to walk head high. I showed everyone I can do it. And that the only opinion that matters to me is that of my daughter's. I started to act the way I think my daughter would be proud of me someday. I truly believe that your child's character and attitude is a reflection of yours, and I always keep that in mind to help me maintain the superhero image I embodied in my daughter's eyes.
All trials in life are not meant to put you down, they are meant to give you lessons, make you stronger and prouder of yourself once overcome. Sometimes you fall really hard on the ground, what matters is how you gracefully rise yourself and recover from that fall.
So to all single moms out there, always remember that a mother's love is limitless and immeasurable. We can conquer the world, make impossible things possible, imperfect world perfect, all for the sake and love for our kids.
I am proud of you!
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