An officemate got promoted and this disrupted the whole thing at work, meaning that his position got vacant and upper management needed to fill it in. Being shorthanded, I was the "lucky" pick to fill in.
We were given only a week to turnover things and this really made my week a "great" one. Okay, I was being sarcastic. Imagine, a very tight timeline to grasp every little information, quick introductions on clients, and double up work load since I still had my previous accounts to handle.
I was lucky that this turnover got extended for another week, but sadly this happened. As I reach home, Mikhaila immediately ran to greet me. I settled myself comfortably on the couch and just as I was about to relax, Mikhaila laid down beside me and complained about her stomach ache.
With Mikhaila having hospitalized before due to UTI, I made a conscious decision not to shrug away simple symptoms such as this. I immediately gave her a tummy massage and checked her temperature.
Calm yourself.
Don't over- react.
Its just stomach-ache.
It will go away.
And so I thought.
Everytime Mikhaila gets sick, I literally panic. With no mom to guide me on this thing, I always find myself helplessly relying on the internet to somehow give me sort of infos that may help heal her. My dad, like any other dad ( atleast those that I know of) is as clueless as I am.
Spell STRESSSSSSSFFFULLLL.
Really it was one stressful week! To add up, Mikhaila's exam was happening soon, and things couldn't get any better.
I have responsibilities at work, and knowing myself, I really want to excel. I don't like the feeling of not being able to perform fully just because I am a mom. I refuse to believe that a single parent cannot compete with the single ones just because s/he has other responsibilities. But as a working single mom, I have to decide what to prioritize first. As much as I want to give my 100% at work, God has given me a much bigger responsibilities as a mom. I had to leave my worries at work and focus on the betterment of my child.
It was so heartbreaking to see her go through lab tests, but I had to make sure that everything was normal. I was constantly checking her temperature, wiped her with cold towel when needed, monitored the time for her medicines, made her eat to assure her tummy is filled. My sleep was so shallow, I was so worried. It pained me to make her drink those medicines that turn her face sour. Everytime I held her hot body, I wanted to miraculously transform myself into an ice just to bring back her normal body temperature.
My heart is very weak when it comes to my daughter, I guess every mother is. Its like, I'd give anything just for her to feel well again.
In every bad situation like this I feel like I'm failing. I failed to give my child the full attention she needs that's why she got sick. Of course, I know for a fact that being sick is a normal thing but situations like this makes me feel so guilty. I hate myself for not being able to be a good mom just like any other mom who can juggle taking care of two or more kids while working.
Being a single mom and working is really one challenging role. I personally want to give my full performance at work because I know I am capable. But I really don't want to give the wrong impression that I am prioritizing my work over my child. You see, maybe for some, working hard for your dream job is merely an ambition, mine is totally different. I work not just because I want to be successful, I work because I want to give my child the future she deserves.
So when your child is sick and you feel guilty that you had to skip work, well, please don't. Let work get piled up, leave your worries at work and start focusing on your child. There's a lot of available jobs in the world you can apply for, but your job as a mom to your beloved offspring, it is only yours to fill in. So heads up high, cause if you are able to prioritize your child more than anything, then you are doing an excellent job!
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